Sunday, April 19, 2015

Hopes, Fears, and Spilt Blood

"I hope love conquers death or at least fear." 

***

I'm going to preemptively tell you about that quote. Normally I wait until it connects to the post. But I decided to give backround very first. I've thought about using this quote many times before but it means a lot to me. It had to be a worthy time.

I was recommended a book this fall titled, "The House of Leaves." Frankly, I would have never read it except the person who recommended it was and is very near to my heart. So I bit my tongue and went for it. This is not an easy book. It is a project, to say the least. There were countless times I hated it. But I was nearly in tears because it was ending. I wrote down dozens of quotes that I still ponder daily. One of my favorites was the aforementioned. Ironically, the person who recommended the book to me had not read that part since it had been added to the second edition. But that part of the book really got me. Without giving to much away, here's why. A mother is put into an insane asylum. These are letters written back to her son. They are everywhere from hateful to paranoid to loving to concerned and whatever else you can imagine. I was sitting in Starbucks reading this section and that line hit me. Honestly, I can't even remember the rest of that particular letter. But the fact that this woman was beyond the point of worrying about death... the fact that she was just trying to conquer fear... I had to walk out of the Starbucks and take deep breathes to pull myself together. Okay. Introduced. Now... adventure time. 

Candy met us at the hotel. We hopped into the van. Our first stop was the Jade Factory. It is run by the Chinese government. Our tour guide for this particular spot was Lisa. Lisa quickly explained about jade. They take blocks of jade, carefully carve out the design, then sand it until it shines. Simple right? Well that little step of designing is unbelievable. She showed us some men sitting behind panes of glass who were working diligently on designes. They never cracked a smile. They didn't stop when we took pictures. As we were about to move on, one man held up the item for us to see.


Lisa also gave us lessons on how to tell if jade was fake or not. It was helpful because the tour ended in a massive room where you could buy anything in jade. Okay, maybe not the most accurate statements ever. A: All the jade was real. Therefore, we didn't need to test if they were real or not. B: Not anything, but pretty close to it.  Statues of anything, sure. Pirate ship? No problem. Horses? Done. Great Wall? Easily. Jewelry? You're choice. Needless to say, we spent some serious time in this store. 





I just looked at the last picture... Let's play a game called, "Where's the creepy lady?" Not sure what happened there.

THE GREEEEAAAATTTT WALLLLL!! Ahem... We went to the freaking Great Wall of China next. Candy took us up the first flight of stairs then introduced us to the Great Wall. We stood off to the side as easily hundreds of people milled around us. I leaned against a barrier on the wall partially just to get out of the crowd. The cold stone felt nice in the dense air. The view was unfortunately a bit murky as the pollution was the worst I'd seen yet. 

She told us the basic history. But then she told history in the way that really effects people. The way where it's not just facts, but you understand. She reminded us that men died on these walls. Not just a few. More than you want to imagine. They didn't eat or sleep. These people left their familes and homes to be beaten when they stopped for a break on the wall. Literally, physically their blood, sweat and tears are built into the walls. That's just the building! Then imagine men keeled over the same barricade you're leaning on because they were wounded from attackers. Imagine soldiers silently watching for any attackers, sweating from the summer sun. Imagine women crying at home hearing the news of their husbands' blood shed. Imagine sons at home not knowing their father's. It truly is a great wall for so many reasons. 

I didn't ponder this at first. At first my thoughts were,"Oh my goodness, there are so many people here." Followed by,  "Holy crap, these are steep steps." Did I mention I felt like a seriously fat American? Candy pointed us in the direction with the least amount of people. There was a reason. It was the steeper section. There were still definitely people, but not to bad. We began walking. Up and up. My ponderings didn't hit me until I stopped on a staircase. I looked down, feeling frustrated at my deep sighs for air. A stone was indented. That't it. My mind raced to, how did this happen? Images of a falling bucket, a falling shovel, or even a falling man breaking this stone. I'm not naive enough to eliminate snow, ice, and frankly time. But what if? 

I only could ponder for a second. I was being called forward by my brother. Johann and I raced around taking all the iconic "I'm a tourist!" pictures. Amazing. The pink flowers blossomed over the sturdy stones. The mountains desperately wanted to be seen despite the smog and clouds. The wind was the perfect refreshing chill to all the people climbing up. Smiles covered every face, from start to finish. Well, at least they did on mine. 










Yeeeahhhh. As Donkey from Shrek would say, "That's a nice wall." 

We went back into main Beijing afterwards. The traffic was atrocious. We ended up in Hutong area. We all hopped into rickshaws. This is basically a seat being driven around by a man in front on a bike. It really only helped the fat American feeling. Johann and I went back and explored the same area at night later. But with Candy, we went to the top of the clock tower. Ha! You imagined an actual clock. Oh, how wrong my friend. In ancient times, as Candy informed us, men inside the tower would keep track of the time. Then indicating the time, they would beat the drums. We were fortunate enough to see one of the demonstrations. It was not nearly as loud as I expected. It was also about twice as fun to see as I expected it to be. 





The final mission for the evening was incredible. Candy took us to see a family's house. This woman opens her home to these tours so they can see. In exchange, they go into her family's shop to see art work and potentially buy some. But it is not a tourist destination. It is her home. Her and the seven other family members that live there. We looked around for a bit. We ended by sitting in her courtyard talking with Candy as an interpreter. She has been married to her husband thirty years and therefore living in this house thirty years. In the Yuan house, eight people reside. This woman and her husband, their son and his wife and thier son, and then her husband's sister and husband. Seeing that and talking with her was an incredible and unique experience to say the least. 

   


Take a breather. Sip your coffee. I wasn't planning on making this into a two-day post. But this morning was a bit earlier than expected and last night a bit later. As I mentioned, Johann and I went back to Hutong District. We didn't party or stay out late. But 1030PM seems a lot later with a 6AM wakeup call the next day.

Alright, you ready now? 

Today. Today was only a half day. We went to the Summer Palace and the Pearl Factory. I just asked Johann and Ellen which we did first. None of us frankly remember. So I'm gonna crank out the Pearl Factory first. 

Imagine the Jade Factory, but for pearls. The end. 

Summer Palace. This is what it sounds like, a palace for the summertime. Quick story. If you want more, you have the internet at your disposal. A long, long time ago, in a galaxy, wait no... Anyway. Cixi was a concubine. There are many stories about her. Many very incredible stories. She was a smart woman. She knew concubines don't have power. So through a serious of deaths/murders and quick moves on her part, her son was merely six years old and emperor. Who do you think held the power there? Oh and don't worry. When he got old enough to question her, she killed him. She then did the same trick with her nephew. But this time she locked him in one section of the Summer Palace and slowly poisioned him. She easily held the power the whole time. Dave and I debated between being impressed by her or distrubed by her. Nonetheless, she left behind an amazing spot. While she didn't have it built, she modified it a lot. She built and heavily worked with an opera house there. She had a boat made of marble made for rainy days. And so on. This is much like the West Lake area. A public park used by locals and tourists alike. We walked around, explored, and finally finished the ride on a Dragon Boat. Which Johann and I perfected a song about. 



   


 



Candy, Dave, Ellen, Johann, our driver, and I went to lunch. Candy and the driver, who I shamefully have no idea of his name, was expecting to have lunch seperate from us. We invited them. We all talked and got to know the man who had been driving us around for days. He has a twenty-three year old son and a twenty year old daughter. He has been a driver for twenty years. We all talked for a long time and it was wonderful to get to know them better. When I told them about my blog, I showed Candy the last post. She was very excited that she was in it. The driver asked why he wasn't in it. I promised him I would make sure he made it into this one. I denied his handshake as a farewell and went straight for the hug. He was obviously shocked but he laughed and hugged me back. They took us to the train station and we said our last goodbye's with Candy in the station. 



We are on our next six hour train ride now to Xi'an. Which gives me time to formulate my ideas into a solidified conclusion about the last couple days. 

"I hope love conquers death or at least fear." It's obvioius to think about the men being terrified on that wall. Of men being terrified on the other side looking at this sudden wall before them. What about Cixi's son or nephew? What about the lovers she killed trying to protect her throne? But what about Cixi herself? Wasn't there one moment of fear in her life? Of course there had to have been. There had to have been because she used fear to control people. You don't understand the power of fear until you're under it yourself. Fear is beyond powerful. 

There is a Bible passage that says, "Perfect love has no fear. For love drives out all fear." I've always loved that image. Drives out fear! Wow! But that is also terrrifying. The only thing more powerful than fear is love? What can that mean? So that means in Beijing you can hear a Christmas song (I've no idea what this bar was doing playing Mariah Carrey Christmas songs in April...) and be transported back to heartbreaking goodbye's. You can fear that again! Because what is more painful than love? What more is there to be afraid of than love- which has the potential to make or break you? To drive out fear or let you be controlled by fear? Did Cixi worry about this? What about the men on the Great Wall? Didn't they yearn to be home with their wifes and know they might not make it? How did the hearts take the blood shed? 

I normally try to tie together these rants with a heartfelt warm fuzzy feeling for you. But frankly, I'm not sure I have one this time. In the hardest times in life, you wonder about it. I'm not saying I've experienced fear or pain like Cixi's son or the man bleeding on the Great Wall. But I know it is easy to hope that love conquers death, but it is crucial to hope that love conquers fear. Frankly, I'm not sure the two don't go hand in hand sometimes. But I most certainly hope that love conquers death. And with all my being, I hope love conquers fear. With that hope, I view the memories of the hearts of men and women before me who hoped for the same thing. From Cixi... to that man... to his wife... to me, to you, to every person, we are all hoping that love conquers our fear. The world may be big, but that idea is everywhere. Just somewhere, someone put it into words. Because isn't that the trick? Just getting the emotions into words for someone, somewhere to read about my feelings on my adventures. Luckily, the adventure always continues. 

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