The Magic of Being Alone

"If you feel lonely when you're alone, you're in bad company." - Jean-Paul Sartre

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Yesterday morning Elisa and Arturo headed into Teruel. Elisa said Arturo had to go to the hospital, which I took as a doctor's appointment. So I said I'd stay home. As the wind howled around the house, I read and relaxed all day. I made lunch and got a message from Elisa. She told me Arturo had to have surgery to remove his appendix. She asked if I'd be okay alone for the night. I said of course and that I'd be praying for them. I thought about how lucky they were this didn't happen a week ago while they were in Kenya... Or during the summer while they are hours from any help in McCarthy. Fortunate they were able to deal with it immediately. 

As for me, I danced in the kitchen in PJ's, sang to loud in the shower, read a lot, and ate straight out of the pan. So basically the normal for being alone in a house. ... If you don't do those things, you ought to be. 

This morning Arturo's mom, Teresa, was dropped off by Arturo's sister. Teresa will be staying at the house to help Elisa with Arturo the next couple days. As we waited for Elisa to pick us up to go to Teruel, we talked. Now, here's why this was a victorious moment. She doesn't speak a word of English. So we talked in total Spanish. I had been feeling frustrated since I got here with my forgetfulness of my three years of Spanish classes. But it came rushing back to me as I talked with Teresa. It was still broken and probably rough to listen to for her. But nonetheless, we held a conversation. And the same happened over dinner tonight. It is such a satisfying feeling. Making the bridge over language barriers is such a victory. Because- listen up you people in Spanish classes- you connect with people you'd never be able to otherwise. That's why you endure those classes. To meet a lady who now views you as a granddaughter and hugs you everytime you walk into the room. To talk to a woman about young love. That's why we struggle through. Not to order a cup of coffee, though that's important. The crossing of languages is crucial and powerful. There is my encouragement for any of you to study another language. And my encouragement for myself to not get frustrated and keep working through it. 

Finally we went to the hospital in Teruel to see Arturo. He was feeling well though had to spend one more day and night in the hospital. Elisa and Teresa were planning on spending the day with Arturo. I was going to finish exploring Teruel. My first stop was the red rocks right outside of Teruel. I first had to wander through the town. But when I arrived, they did not disappoint. I later found out there are trails back into more red rocks. But I was on the other side where technically you're not supposed to walk. I'll have to go back and explore more. 

I then went to the final cathedral in Teruel. For three euros you can see the cathedral and the art museum next to it. Yes, please. The cathedral was massive. Again, detailed beyond belief. Places you're sure no one would think to decorate is covered in angel's wings or gold swirls. Seven alters surround the main alter, each as beautiful and elaborate as the first. Teruel was hit hard during the civil war- especially the cathedral. In fact, it was only recently reopened. So the restoration had been significant. As you looked, you could see how pieces of art was destroyed. Some they left destroyed, some they tried to fix.

Near the end, I was the only person in the massive church. And for purely scientific research I may or may not have sung a song to test acoustics... The test was a success. They were amazing.

(Pardon the pictures. Technically I wasn't supposed to be taking pictures. Yeah I know... I'll risk singing Ava Maria out loud but I sneak pictures.) 

Next was the art muesum. I opened the door to an open enclosed courtyard type room. An excited man greeted me. I showed him my ticket and he prattled on about the museum. I told him I spoke very little Spanish. Which he took as, I can speak Spanish to her! I finally understood what he was trying to say. The museum was artifacts recovered from the seminary and cathedral in Teruel post-civil war. They went in order of the story of the Bible. Starting with creation and ending with resurrection, it was a collection of different artists views of certain stories. It was very neat to see how many different ideas a story can look like while all focused on the main idea. Upstairs was the same idea except with saints. They also had a room of a collection of the communion items from the old cathedral.

 

I still had some time after the muesum. I went to one of the main plazas and fulfilled a dream. When I first got the idea of going to Europe, I had this vision of sitting in the sun, in an open plaza, drinking coffee and reading a book, loving life. Mission accomplished. Though I'd read about two sentences then people watch for ten minutes and repeat. I thought about the quote at the beginning. There have been moments on this trip where loneliness overwhelmed me. But I realized. If I can't love being with myself, who can I love being with? This is what life is for an 18 year old. Learning to love yourself before you can love your neighbor. It is a great realization when you realize this. That you are okay on your own. It's a great realization when you take a deep breathe and say I'm who and what I need right now. There's a magic in being alone. 

I then went the hospital to meet Elisa and Teresa. Teresa and I would go home while Elisa would spend the night in the hospital. Arturo comes home tomorrow, if all goes according to plan. Walking out of the room, Teresa grabbed my hand, in the way grandmothers do, and excitedly asked about my day. She laughed and kissed me on the cheek multiple times. I smiled. There may be magic in being alone, but there sure is some magic in a grandmother's love as well! 

As for tonight, I sit by a roaring fire. Chatting with Teresa and enjoying my spoiled, blessed life.