I've reached the end. I'm sitting on the plane. I say "the" plane because I'm writing this over a three-legged journey. Shanghai-Beijing-Los Angeles-Denver. Just in case you don't know, Denver is in America. Which would be where this journey began. Who knew I'd actually come home? Didn't see that one coming! I suppose I did in some aspect. Yet, it still hit me as a shock this morning as I packed. But as I said, I have had a plan for this post for a long time now. God forbid I stray from the plan now!
The last two days Johann and I spent in Shanghai. We had a dinner with Cheryl to say farewell. Quite possibly the best.... No, hands down the best burgers I've ever had in my life. And they were buy one, get one! Then the next day, Johann and I revisited our favorite spots in Shanghai, to say farewell. We began looking for the dumpling place Brian took us for breakfast. We never did find it and setted for a little cafe place. Then we went back to the market and practiced bargaining. I conquered my fear and always knocked prices down at least 80%. I finally said we had to leave if we were going to save our budget at all. Incredibly fun- once you get used to it.
We wandered around for hours afterwards. Then, after a quick nap, went to the Bund to enjoy the night lights. I had read about a hidden rooftop bar that was supposed to have great views. It was above a hostel which meant that the environment was relaxed and all tourists. But the view was five stars. An interrupted view of the lights across the river. Sparkling lights glimmered across the darkened water. Boats slowed as if to show off their decorated lighting. People crowded on the sidewalk. Everyone wanted to be in the perfect weather and soak in the beauty. We sat on our perch listening to the many languages intermingle into one behind us. We toasted to a great month and the perfect send off from China. The clinks of glasses were drowned by the promise: "Until next time China."
Ironically, I totally strayed from the plan already. My plan was for this to just be a "reflective" post. ... I guess they all are, huh? But long term reflective. But here's why I strayed from the plan. Sitting on that rooftop bar, it was like I watched a movie of the last couple months. I started thinking about it, and man, what a trip this has been!
It started over a year ago. Sitting in my kitchen dreading college, I told my dad I wanted to take a year off. I had no idea where that would lead. Then a few months later, I was suppressing tears on a doctor's examination table. Months delay on a single year trip?! No. It couldn't be! I remember trying to get a grip. "It is going to be okay." "It's happening for a reason." Everyone's words echoed through my ears. I went that day to the Flatirons, found a quiet spot over looking gorgeous Boulder and the blue skies. I let myself cry. Then I figured out how I would make the best of it. A few weeks, one surgery, and a lot of physical therapy, I had done it. And I'd even made the best of it. I'd used the time to make connections with people I never would have otherwise. People who changed my life and made me a better person. I got to spend time with my family that wouldn't have happened. I even was able to spend Christmas at home and New Year's with my favorite little girls. I would have never ever planned it that way, but it was better than I could have ever imagined. Man, life is beautiful.
January 6th I was sitting on a plane, wishing I hadn't planned this stupid trip. How could I do this by myself? But I landed in Zürich nonetheless. Florian walked in, picked up my bag, and walked back out. Off we went. Over the next couple weeks I was fortunate enough to get to know my Swiss family more than I ever have before. I spent days exploring with Tommy, the ultimate tour guide. I spent hours upon hours talking with Sarah about everything from baking to love to Chemistry- the subject, not related to love! Dinners let me get to know Sigmund more than I ever had before. Man, life is beautiful.
If you had asked me January 5th if I'd be at the Orthodox New Year in Serbia, I would have laughed. But there I was. Fireworks rained down on my estatic smile. My new friends stood around me. I explored monasteries in Serbia as the sun lit up the gorgeous green rolling hills. I spent time meeting David and Alex and making new friends that gathered me into their homes like a lifelong friend. Man, life is beautiful.
I can't remember exactly, but I think Florian and I had a day in between Serbia and our next adventure. I can't even fathom how to sum up this adventure. Chills consumed me standing in the Westminster Abbey. My eyes widened in excitement at the Tower of London. Ireland... My goodness. Beauty that is unsurpassable. Singing and dancing in the car as the ocean waves crashed against the shore next to us. Exploring castles on the ocean front. Standing on a cliffside letting violent wind whip tears off my face as my heart was being mended by breathing in fresh air and salty water. Seeing the heart break in graffiti on the walls of people fighting for what they believe. But more than all those amazing moments, making incredible bonds with cousins I had never talked to before. Letting the same cousins whisk me off to ice cream in order to stop the tears in Dublin. Crawling through a "rainbow" and bursting into tears on the other end. The long conversations, the debates, the laughter. Man, life is beautiful.
Sitting on the plane to Spain, I felt oddly peaceful. I wasn't nervous or, truthfully, over excited. I just was ready. At least I thought I was. But I wasn't. I had no idea the effect Spain would have on me. My heart, my soul, my entire being changed. I studied a language that connected me to, I'm convinced, some of the best people on this planet. The family that opened their arms to me are, in my eyes, part of my family now. Arturo and Elisa taught me about love, trust, life, and so much more. They gave me a world of opportunities that I can never thank them for. The long talks with Teresa, the laughter, the tears, the love. The beauty Spain holds. The sun, the snow, the beaches, the sand, the trees, the mountains, the cliffs. The fun Spain can offer. The culture, traditions! But more importantly, the new home I found. I can't believe how at home I felt. It's a different thing when you stumble upon a home when you're meant to be traveling. The peace that comes with it makes it all worth it. Man, life is beautiful.
China was different because I didn't feel ready, and I sure wasn't ready. Every aspect of life in China was different. As you've learned, I try to be honest on this blog. China took me a lot longer to adapt to than any other part of this trip. It was hard. But finally I just sighed and realized I had to accept the upside down world I'd found myself in. It became a lot easier once that was done. But what really helped was the people I was with. Are you sensing a theme here? The Great Wall, the Terra-cotta soldiers, dangling off Huashan Mountain, all the temples, they don't compare to the people I met. The memories I made with my family and new friends will be what made China amazing. Shanghai breezes on a sunny day. The smiles and surprise from people as we explored the small villages. The nights in Ningbo. The joking conversations and the serious conversations as we watched the beauty of HuaShan Mountain develop in front of us. Man, life is beautiful.
Have you ever looked at yourself and realized the pieces from other people culminates into you? Here's what I mean. From birth, we are influenced. Everyday we interact in any form with another human, we are influenced. Each person interprets these influences differently which is makes humans unique individuals. So it's like a stew for people. We walk down the halls of life's supermarket and say, "Ooo this guy introduced me to polka dancing (realistic example, I know) and now I'm going to add that to my person." A little bit of sugar, a little bit of spice. And a stew is made. Sometimes those influences come from the most random places as well. I think about this often because, due to the seasonal lifestyle, I've had numerous people who I've spent a few months with, they add an entirely new perspective on things, and then they're gone. Some I stay in contact with, some I don't. Some I wish I stayed in contact with, while some I'm glad are gone. And frankly, that's just life.
I'm sitting on my last leg of this journey home. Los Angeles to Denver. Before I left everyone told me I'd come back a different person. In someways, I don't think so. But in other ways, of course I am. Because I made connections with people. Some connections were with all my heart and some were just short term fun. But the connection is there nonetheless. So the influences were made and I am now a different person. But the main ideas haven't changed. I've learned a little more about patience, love, heartbreak, strength, courage, prayer, and the ability to empathize with people no matter what. Because in the end you have something in common: you're both humans. So I've learned a lot. I pray I've become stronger. My heart has extended to the corners of the earth and I'm so thankful for the opportunities and family I now have in my heart.
I was worried my last day in Shanghai about being home and feeling my heart be torn in two. The response I received from my dad was perfection. "Yes I do know. A torn heart is common for people who are truly alive because they recognize that there is more than one happiness and often both cannot be had at the same time. So they begin to learn how to choose, enjoy the current moment, glory in the past ones and anticipate the coming ones without dwelling - too much - on what will be missed." But my heart does not need to be torn. I'll come back. I'll see my family in Switzerland again. I'll see my family in Spain again. I'll see my family in China again. I'll carry the memories and influences on my heart and use them to become a stronger and yet more lovig person. This is not the end. As always, someday... No. Not someday, tomorrow, the adventure continues.
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